The Future.

So I noticed everytime I think about what I'm going to make of myself in the future I get really scared and nervous. Because honestly, who knows at this age? I mean, if you have your life all organized then thats good for you but I highly doubt that everything you planned out for yourself is going to happen. Everytime a girl is asked, "What are you going to do in the future?" most of the replies are "Oh, going to marry a rich guy, of course!" Haha, really? Get real. I mean I've said that before but I know my life won't be picture perfect like that, I wish! If you actually get that kind of life when you're out of high school, call me. I'll make sure to congradulate you.

And another thing. I don't think parents get how school actually is. Yea, we might not be trying hard but if they were in our places I doubt they'd be doing so well either. Education changed dramatically since they were in school, everything got harder and they think it's as easy as it was for them when they were in high school. But I bet if you actually showed them what kind of stuff we did and asked them to do it, they wouldn't be able to. I hate how everything to parents is grades, grades, and more grades. And before you say, "It's cause your parents care about you." Yea, I know that. I care about my grades too. It may not look or seem like it, but I actually do. I care about where I'm going to college, what I'm going to become in the future, and how I'm going to get to the place I want to be in the future. Those are all the things I worry about everyday when I get tests, essays, homework, and all kinds of stuff back from my classes.

Just to add on to another thing I worry about after high school is FRIENDS. I already know that some of the friends I've made up to this point after high school won't be in my life. They'll move away for college or we'll just end up not talking to each other much. I already know that, and thats not what I'm scared of cause I know friends "come and go". But what I'm really scared of over this friends topic is losing my best friends. Especially the true ones that have been right by my side through thick and thin. I'm so scared of losing these kind of people cause they're not friends who just come and go .. they're the ones that come into your life and actually make an IMPACT in your life. I know it sounds all corny now, but really when I think into the future and think about not having some of them in my life I really feel like crying and sometimes do (haha, you can laugh at me). I hate that high school has to end, yea it's a pain in the ass but it's all worth it in the end. You meet all these great people but then sometimes end up having to let them go just because high school is over and they're moving somewhere far for college or something. People say you should keep the best friends you make in high school because they're the ones that will really help you through life over the best friends you make in college. I don't know if my best friends and I will seperate after high school but even if we do I want to stay in contact and everything and hope one day we'll all live together in the same city, go to each others weddings, go to each others kids first birthdays, go over to each others houses to gossip just like we did in high school, and all that good stuff till we're all old and we all have to help each other pee. HAH, thats funny. But, it's all true. I'm so scared to lose my best friends, my baby girls to something so stupid as our "high school life chapter" ending.

If you actually read up to this point, wow. That's amazing cause I wrote so much today. Haha, I've been thinking too much about the future by myself. And before I end, I'm going to put up of the baby girls! (Kindof looks like one of Viv's posts today cause of the picture thing, but I love her (: )





I fucking love you girls.