Saturday Night Lockdowns.

I wouldn't be surviving my Saturday lockdown without Vivian & Jazmyn! Fucking love those girls cause they know what I'm going through .. and how boring being on lockdown is! This whole day I've been spending my day away watching the movies playing on tv, playing games, chatting on AIM, & just ... not doing anything productive at all. The most exciting thing I've done all day is go grocery shopping with my mom to H-Mart, call Marvin while Jazmyn calls Shannon & Vivian calls Josh, pretending to be mad at people, and all that! I wish some people visited Vivian, Jazmyn & me today BUT they're selfish people who were having their selfish fun so whatever, fuck them! We had our own fun today!

I thought usually on days like these you're supposed to think about all the stuff that goes on in your life cause you have absolutly nothing to do at all, but it's not even like that. All I thought about today is, "How am I going to get through today when it's so damn boring." or "I wish Vivian & Jazmyn lived closer to me so we could all walk & meet each other half way to talk or SOMETHING." The sad thing about all of us today is that we think doing ANYTHING other than being on the computer is fun. Like how Vivian & I were talking about how her, Jazmyn, & I should prank call a certain someone and tell him how much we like him. Haha, too bad that didn't go down though! It would of been really funny. But then knowing him he would probably spread rumors saying how fucked up all of us are for doing that to him! So, whatever!

My parents are going to sleep right now soooo, I think Vivian should sneak out the car! Haha, then pick me & Jazmyn up so we can all do something even though it's late! If this actually happened, it would make my SUNDAY morning (since it is now 12:o4am!). Ugh, whatever! I'm probably not going to do anything & go to sleep soon. Actually, I'll probably be talking to Vivian & Jazmyn on AIM then go to sleep later (:

eunicyclee: fuck west co. boys
eunicyclee: fuck dbar boys
eunicyclee: fuck walnut boys
eunicyclee: fuck every boy
jazmyn breezy x: HAHAAH
jazmyn breezy x: seriously
jazmyn breezy x: fuck nogales boys
jazmyn breezy x: oh wait
jazmyn breezy x: you were naming cities
jazmyn breezy x: not schools
Hahaha, freaking Jazmyn.

Okay, I'm done venting about my lockdown!
I love Vivian & Jazmyn for being on lockdown like me, HAHA!


Mmm, that looks so good right now!
I wish some people bought Vivian, Jazmyn, & me yogurt today.

More Than Friends.

I realized this while I was making up with my BFFL/baby girl, Judy Lee. No matter how much you fight, how much you disagree with that one person, and how much you're angry at that one person if they're your best friend and you're both willing to make it work then thats what you can call forever. Honestly the one thing that will truely last forever is friendship, especially the friendship you know that you want to last for your whole life. If you say you and a boy are going to last forever, please don't hold onto that hope cause it won't last. I'm not trying to bring your hopes down or anything but forever with a boy isn't really forever. You and your boyfriend are eventually going to get into a fight, eventually lose feelings for each other, stop believing in "forever", and break up. Trust me, I've been there and done that. Forever isn't really forever with a guy. Forever with a person is wanting to be with them no matter what. Wanting to make things work even though it seems so impossible. Wanting to get through all the fights, tears, and the words thrown at each other just to be close with that person.
All the stuff I'm saying right now may seem pretty homo but whatever, if you don't understand what I'm saying I feel really sorry for you. Cause with a best friend it's just like a relationship 'cept it's even better than being with a guy. You're in a relationship with a person that can truely understand you, know what you're going through, can give you advice to move on with your life, and you're with someone that'll stick with you 24/7 no matter what the situation. Who doesn't want a relationship like that? Because that relationship is what you can really call the forever that everyone is looking for in this world. With a best friend you don't need to change yourself because you're best friend accepts you for who you are, imperfections and all. They know you in and out and sometimes they'll know you better than you know yourself. They'll protect you from all the bad stuff coming your way or they'll try their best to and if they don't succeed atleast you know they tried and that they've stuck with you.

Basically, I'm just saying that forever isn't real with a guy. It truely isn't. The guy ends up hurting you or you both end up hurting each other and in the end no one wins like that. The promised "forever" fades into nothing because it was nothing from the beginning. I really don't believe in forever with a guy. Yea, I've said "forever" to a guy before I knew it wouldn't last .. forever isn't real atleast not to me, especially with a guy. But the one forever I truely believe in are the friendships I know that will last forever and is worth fighting for.

Judy Lee, you've really inspired me for this blog. Even though our friendship with eachother might not be perfect at times I know at the end of the day we're still best friends. You're always there for me and you know I'm always here for you, no matter what the circumstance. If we're mad at each other and you need me, I'll get over whatever we're fighting over because our friendship isn't worth ending over something so dumb. Serious or not.
And, you know that we understand each other so well. You always know how I'm feeling whenever I'm in some shit and you make me feel so much better. You give me advice to get over whatever I'm going through and whenever we hang out we just get closer. We're both hard headed and so stubborn but I think thats what makes us so unique. Usually people who are so stubborn like us can't handle each other but I've stuck with you and you've stuck with me no matter what we're going though.
Even though our past doesn't live up to who we are now to each other, it doesn't matter. Cause the past is the past and I'm glad we're not like how we were a few years ago. I'm so glad I pulled a "Eunice" that one day in first period, haha. Total Body Fitness would NOT have been the same if we haven't gotten to become best friends.
judyloveee: shitt its like being in a relationship again
judyloveee: LOL
judyloveee: its okay, this is the one forever i believe in
I love you bestie, I'll always be here for you baby girl, no matter what.
And you know this is the one forever I believe in too.

Carolyn, Connie, Jenny, and Vivian. You guys know I wouldn't be the person I am without you guys either, I hope. Like Vivian said before, whenever we're together no matter how much time we're actually spending together we always manage to get closer. Thats what I call best friends. Honestly, no other group can compare to us cause what we all have together is so special. We make up who we are as an individual. And I love how every one of us always ends up doing what the other person does. Like my hand thing when I talk, haha. You guys all ended up doing it too! And Carolyn's hair touching thing, we all do it so much. I don't know, we always end up catching onto what the other person is doing and do it ourselves. I love it. And I know that at one time or another we don't agree with each other, and you know what? That's alright, cause we're all entitled to our own opinion and as best friends we should be able to have our own opinions. All of us state our minds and we always end up talking about it and even though we may not all agree with it we understand what the other person is trying to say.
I really truely love you guys for being my best friends and just being by my side. And just like I said to Judy, you guys know I'll be here for you too. No matter what.

This is such a long post, once again. Haha. I don't care if you didn't read what I wrote about my baby girls but I hope you actually thought about the forever I believe in. But if you've actually read everything, thanks.

And to end, pictures like Vivian's and the rest of the girls posts!
Pictures are from today with Vivian and Jenny when we were at The Village! Fun day!

The Future.

So I noticed everytime I think about what I'm going to make of myself in the future I get really scared and nervous. Because honestly, who knows at this age? I mean, if you have your life all organized then thats good for you but I highly doubt that everything you planned out for yourself is going to happen. Everytime a girl is asked, "What are you going to do in the future?" most of the replies are "Oh, going to marry a rich guy, of course!" Haha, really? Get real. I mean I've said that before but I know my life won't be picture perfect like that, I wish! If you actually get that kind of life when you're out of high school, call me. I'll make sure to congradulate you.

And another thing. I don't think parents get how school actually is. Yea, we might not be trying hard but if they were in our places I doubt they'd be doing so well either. Education changed dramatically since they were in school, everything got harder and they think it's as easy as it was for them when they were in high school. But I bet if you actually showed them what kind of stuff we did and asked them to do it, they wouldn't be able to. I hate how everything to parents is grades, grades, and more grades. And before you say, "It's cause your parents care about you." Yea, I know that. I care about my grades too. It may not look or seem like it, but I actually do. I care about where I'm going to college, what I'm going to become in the future, and how I'm going to get to the place I want to be in the future. Those are all the things I worry about everyday when I get tests, essays, homework, and all kinds of stuff back from my classes.

Just to add on to another thing I worry about after high school is FRIENDS. I already know that some of the friends I've made up to this point after high school won't be in my life. They'll move away for college or we'll just end up not talking to each other much. I already know that, and thats not what I'm scared of cause I know friends "come and go". But what I'm really scared of over this friends topic is losing my best friends. Especially the true ones that have been right by my side through thick and thin. I'm so scared of losing these kind of people cause they're not friends who just come and go .. they're the ones that come into your life and actually make an IMPACT in your life. I know it sounds all corny now, but really when I think into the future and think about not having some of them in my life I really feel like crying and sometimes do (haha, you can laugh at me). I hate that high school has to end, yea it's a pain in the ass but it's all worth it in the end. You meet all these great people but then sometimes end up having to let them go just because high school is over and they're moving somewhere far for college or something. People say you should keep the best friends you make in high school because they're the ones that will really help you through life over the best friends you make in college. I don't know if my best friends and I will seperate after high school but even if we do I want to stay in contact and everything and hope one day we'll all live together in the same city, go to each others weddings, go to each others kids first birthdays, go over to each others houses to gossip just like we did in high school, and all that good stuff till we're all old and we all have to help each other pee. HAH, thats funny. But, it's all true. I'm so scared to lose my best friends, my baby girls to something so stupid as our "high school life chapter" ending.

If you actually read up to this point, wow. That's amazing cause I wrote so much today. Haha, I've been thinking too much about the future by myself. And before I end, I'm going to put up of the baby girls! (Kindof looks like one of Viv's posts today cause of the picture thing, but I love her (: )





I fucking love you girls.

Firsts.

Haha, first blogspot post ! Vivian got me into this, so let's see how this goes (:

Mmm, so lately I've been regretting taking out my Monroe. Ahah, I miss it & people always ask "Why'd you take it out Eunice?" or "It was so cute on you Eunice!". Ugh, whatever. I always regret these kind of decisions. I wish I could just go back into time & just stop some stuff I did .. but whatever all part of life experience I guess.

I feel so conflicted with life right now, sometimes I don't even know what's going on. I just feel like I'm just floating on by and I hate it =__=. I really want to meet new people that'll inspire me, as lame as that sounds. I feel like I'm wasting my life doing absolutly nothing .. just going to school and going back home .. so life changing .. haha not.

So, today I read "Type Love" again, & I really really want that type of love :T. Reading that makes me envious of whoever has that ahahaha =__=. I'm so freaking lame (notice how I didn't say the F word? I'm trying not to cuss as much.) But yea, I've never experienced that type of love & I really really want to. Maybe I'm asking for too much but what kind of girl doesn't want that?

Kay, I think this is enough for today. I got sidetracked from studying for my finals cause of this, haha. Yay to failing !